No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
