I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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