just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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