All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
