Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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