ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
