Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That's intense
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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