so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
