I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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