He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
