Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
