well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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