I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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