i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
