scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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