Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize