the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
