thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
