Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
