My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
