I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
