is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
