and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
