Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
