I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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