idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
