It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
