I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
