Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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