Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
