Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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