Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
