Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My sheets look like a crime scene.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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