Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize