My brain says no but my pants say off.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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