last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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