"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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