I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
