everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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