Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Found the puke drawer
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
