Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
