why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry my hands just texted you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize