he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
