Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
