I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I intend to get homeless drunk
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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