Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
