I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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