you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
