My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i've created a new STD.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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