dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there was a trapeze. enough said
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
