FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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