Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
