he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
