i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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