the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
