i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
