Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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