let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
