just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize