i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
