I wish i was in the wii world.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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