Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
