I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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