Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
