its not stalking. its research.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's shark week go big or go home
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize