I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
