Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
