so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
