you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
