i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
