yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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