The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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